I don’t look very good in brightly colored V-neck t-shirts. So sad :(
Four days ago, I turned 27. Yay, happy birthday to me, etc.
To be honest, I wished that I was celebrating it under better circumstances. A few weeks ago, I was at a loss. None of the work I did (what little of it, anyway) felt right. It wasn’t fulfilling, there was something missing. Like, a gaping void. And I’ve been suffering that emptiness for quite some time, now.
Do you know what it’s like to work on something you genuinely believed in? You believed in the process, the journey and the final destination. I’ve spent 4 years formally studying graphic design, and I have to say that it has been a most rewarding experience. Lately though, I feel like the long journey is finally taking its toll.
Being 3 years shy of 30 and looking at my current standing, career-wise, personal-wise, really puts a lot of things in perspective. That I’m not taking charge of my life. That I’ve been afraid, so very afraid of making crazy decisions. Conventional wisdom says that not making crazy decision is, you know, a good thing. Then again, I was never one for ‘conventional wisdom’.
I was lucky to count the minutes to my birthday with my closest friends. We had a small BBQ gathering in the open air, at a playground. The mood was great, the food was simple but lovely and I think it was one of the best birthday ‘parties’ I’ve had in a long time. No flamboyant dinners at expensive restaurants or a loud obnoxious party with fake smiles of people you rarely meet. It was a peaceful night spent with people who meant the world to me.
As the seconds ticked and the smoke cleared, I found myself thinking again about where I was going with my life. Suffice to say I’ve arrived at another crossroad; and this is a particularly critical one. I guess the most important thing about growing up is about having the resolve to make decisions. Not necessarily the right decisions, but the determination and courage to make that choice.
It was with a solemn joy that I gazed at the stars that night wondering if all the time, resources and emotion spent was all worth it. I suppose in the end I come off as a better person. At least, I hope it turns out that way. Allow me to raise a glass; here’s to you.
Thank you, for being a part of my story.
Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.