Letting Go
March 19th, 2010
Small Talk:
Wah, I haven’t blogged for almost 2 months? Well, not counting the May’n plug, I really haven’t been able to find any time to write as leisurely as I used to. Hmm.
I realised a long time ago what I really wanted out of my life. The things I’d really work for, the things I would want to accomplish for myself. Unfortunately I get sidetracked alot. Distractions, mostly. The need to explore new things, to experiment, to make things happen.
Recently though, things have begun to look very differently.
I’m starting to feel the weight of my studies, and the realities of the life that lay ahead of me. How much of my mind is actually occupied by the things I’m supposed to be doing, and how distracted I am with the things I can do without. To be passionate is one thing, but I guess I’m not talented enough to juggle so many things at once AND be great at all of them.
Learn to let go. For that is the key to happiness.
- Buddha
So I’ve decided to let go. I am letting go of my distractions, my whimsical dreams, my secret pleasures and my egoistical pursuits. I am letting it all go. Not all at once, no – that would just be irresponsible. I’ve created a good amount of expectations for a good number of people. Friends, colleagues, the few people who look up to me. I still have a few projects with a few people that are still due, and I do wish to finish at least those – but I am not going to take on anything new. Not for a long time to come.
I am letting go because I have to, and because I no longer feel the need to be obsessive about it. I think I’ve had my share of fun and glory, so it’s time that I let someone else take the wheel and observe as part of the audience. I’ve arrived at an important point of my life and I can’t afford to ruin it for a fleeting dream.
Getting back on track and staying in focus will be my new commitment and I pray for the strength to go all the way with this resolution. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s better than finding myself stuck in limbo.
Christian Nestell Bovee
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Looks like I have stumbled upon your website a little too late. (Is this the end of your blogging antics?)
Your feelings mirror exactly what I have been thinking for past 3 years. It’s a slow process of self-awareness only I recently acknowledged, and it is a struggle to get through it.
Consider this: I am going where no other Singaporean (yes, you heard that) wills to: attend a university in Malaysia (albeit its origins is from Australia).
In its simplistic description, I am going from good to bad. Why would I throw the good life in this small island-nation for uncertainty up North?
That aside, I do wish you get to where you want to go. Being a newcomer to your blog, I can’t say a lot of things to inspire you. At the least, I can say you are very honest about yourself, who you are, and where are your standing in the path of life.
Carry on, Silencers, I shall see you whenever you’re on IRC.
Silencers: End of my blogging antics? Nay, I might still continue blogging way past my 40′s (lol). I haven’t thought of running IRC for over a few months now, maybe I’ll show up and idle in the chan again once in a while :)