I don’t have an extensive vocabulary like you do, but you know my current state now. So if you need my assistance in weaving your words, just gimme a holler.

I am after all, very emotional, sensitive and sentimental.

Silencers: You also happen to be a helpless blurcase, lol.

You thought “go for it” then you tend to feel uncomfortable. Questions start to popping out. “Am I doing the right thing?”

Decision cant be made. The right person isnt there yet. So nothing ells can be done other than…

wait!

I feel really bad when the other party expects otherwise. Even as I type now there are a few who I’m forced to tell (to them) that I can’t go for it.

Involuntarily feeling something for someone, that’s when I feel totally fucked, when those feelings are beyond my control. I’ve experienced that only twice in my life.

My relationships though have not been based on that so far. My past relationships have been on cultivated love and care – it can be manufactured.

Somehow when I do find myself… falling, if you can call it that (I find it hard to acknowledge myself falling – acknowledging that makes my life a mess), I find myself being really stupid and out of control.

I’m so used to being IN control of my actions and feelings. *sighs*

Do you find yourself stupid when it happens?

Silencers: I don’t know, I’ve only really fallen about… twice? I’ve been looking for a connection, that profound sense of attachment. I’ve had that before, but since then, takde.

THIS. :) I like it. Its so sincere. And its so true.

Though what I can say is, maybe you were thinking ahead a heck lot – a common norm for people who do think a lot. :)

To put it – yes it’s fine for you to think they are attractive and charming for now, but it’s probably not fine if you decide to stick the rest of your life with that person and her downsides that were never shown in the first place, and regretting later because of that.

And perhaps the cause of all that was, because you have been hurt too many times by falling in love with your previous crushes so easily, that you started to act a little bit more self-defensive nowadays. Well it happens. :|

I think the opportunity shall arise for you – just that it has yet to arrive. So do yourself a favour – keep your eyes open, and strike when you feel is true.