The Silent Room

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Small Talk:
I’ve been rather bored. I mean, I’ve been doing quite a number of stuff, but only a few things have left me feeling content and satisfied. So, I’m gonna use this post to dump in more random irrelevant pictures!

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“Okay, you’ve already helped set the game between me and my girl. Right now, we should be focusing our efforts and set the game for him.” said a certain friend of mine – with a finger pointed at me. A groan escaped my throat as my eyeballs rolled back into my sockets as though it was a knee-jerk reflex.

I was chilling out at another friend’s open house when the conversation about chicks came to the table. I’ll be honest about this – conversation about ‘scoring chicks’ bore me to high heaven. Any guy who enjoys this sort of talk would quickly and instantly label me as some sort of sore loser, that I’m being a bunch of sour grapes because I’m not hitting on nearly as many chicks as they are. Funny thing is, whenever I mention this in a female presence, most of the time, they would rise to my defense; probably having the misconception that I champion some sort of feminist right for them.

Which I don’t, by the way.

These kind of talks bore me because it’s always the same damn thing. The progress usually goes like this

1. So I met this chick at (insert random place I couldn’t care less to know about), right…
2. (insert description of chick. This usually includes skin tone, race, sexiness, gyrating prowess and alcohol tolerance)
3. Then I was chatting her up and I think she likes me…
4. (insert reasons why he thinks she likes him)
5. But then, she’s not my type so I’ll probably go for this other chick I told you about last time.
   She probably gives a better blowjob/has nicer tits/breathes less oxygen anyway.
6. (insert one/two weeks time skip)
7. Repeat Step (1).

So you see, whenever the topic pops up, the first thing I do is yawn. Then I repeat the last two words of each sentence (seriously, try it). After that I nod, and alternate between the three. Once in a while I order another drink or roti bakar, or just watch whatever crappy shit is on the mamak TV.

I can be a pretentious dick and say that I ‘hate’ these talks because they ‘reduce women to objects of lust’ or that ‘it encourages male chauvinism’ and all that bullshit, but I won’t – because I don’t really give a shit if women are reduced to objects of lust or if it encourages chauvinism among men. Really. Such things are practically hard-wired into our genes. God made the race of women to be beautiful and attractive. In the same vein, God made us men horny enough to want to fuck you. Also, in the same vein, women WANT to look attractive because they feel good if men think they are good looking. It’s simple logic, isn’t it?

The real reason why I’m not very fond of ‘chick scoring’ talk is because it makes you sound like an idiot – like your brain is stuck between your prostate gland and your bladder. It’s one chick after another, and then you go on and compare experiences between the different chicks. Then they ask me the same damn thing again and again, “Why are you still single?”. I was too lazy to think of an answer so I just say “I’m too lazy to go after chicks.” Creatvity at its best, don’t you say?

Anyway, several months back I was introduced to a certain girl. She’s quite good-looking, rather smart, a bit on the gedik-gedik side but it wasn’t difficult to build some chemistry between us. We were hanging out in a pretty big group so it was a rather easy-going atmosphere. At the end of the night, we parted ways bur I had a feeling that we left some good impressions on each other.

“Yeah, so what happened next?” asked Mr. Finger Pointer.

“Nothing.” I said.

“What, you don’t like her?”

I paused and thought about it. “No,” I said, “It’s not that I don’t like her…”

“Then what?”

“I just didn’t follow up with her.”

“Why not?”

“I just didn’t feel like it?”

“She’s not good enough for you?”

“What, no! It’s not that. I just… didn’t feel like pursuing it?”

“Are you afraid?”

“Of what? Rejection? Not really, I’ve been through worse. It’s… I just couldn’t be bothered.”

“Why not?”

As you can see, the conversation kept going in circles until I gave my very creative answer – yes, you guessed it – “I’m just lazy.” Come to think of it, whenever I see or chat up a nice girl somewhere, I’d be sitting there and enjoying that current conversation with her at that moment. Lately I’ve found much pleasure in seeing girls smile and see the shine in their eyes when they’re having a good chat (usually means she talks, you shut up).

I love looking at smiling girls – they look the most beautiful when they do that. I find myself just basking in the simple happiness of being in the presence a nice girl at any present moment, just in that frame – without planning ahead for any courting tactics, no dagger under my sleeve, no secret letters tucked in a file, no blood-rushing thrill of romantic pursuit.

It’s also one of the reasons why I can simply chat up a stranger at a coffee shop just for fun. When you’re having pure, genuine fun like that, with no hidden agenda or secret intentions, the pleasure is on a completely different level. When the conversation ends, I would walk away, pleased with myself, and say “That was a very nice girl.” or “It would be nice to chat her up again.” and that would be it.

So you might say that I’m simply not interested in commitment, which may be true, but I’ll be honest and say that I love the freedom of talking to whichever girl I want without the pressure of being caught up in some kind of twisted drama like all those TV shows we always grab from the torrents.

Leaving the girls after that and letting Fate decide our next encounter would probably be more exciting too, I think.