The Silent Room

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Small Talk:
‘Cause I’m such a lazy bastard, I decided not to do a travelogue for my previous trip to Vietnam. Sorry, but occasionally, I’ll write a few anecdotes of the cooler things that happened. Haha, if I kept you waiting, I humbly apologise. m(_ _)m

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I received a phone call from a familiar number. It was from a certain media broadcast centre I used to work at many years ago, and some of my ex-colleagues still keep in touch with me today. I remember the days I spent as an online content developer back then. It was probably the best thing I ever did for myself.

This friend who called used to be in the same team I was, but he was in charge of on-ground promotions. These days, he goes on air on one of the popular local radio stations. He called in for a small favor and this wasn’t the first time.

Yet another image unrelated to the post.

Being a radio jock isn’t as easy as one may believe. It involves a lot of monologue and you have to be able to maintain a cheerful attitude throughout your airtime – even if you were having the worst day of the week. While I haven’t had any experience going on air, I do have some experience doing voice-overs [pre-recorded radio shows, as opposed to live broadcasts] and along the way, I kind of picked up the nature of the environment around the studio.

Since jocks often spend hours alone in the studio, it can get quite hard to monologue all the time. Also, since not everyone is that keen on calling up the jocks and keep them company, they’ll have to improvise their own content to make the show a bit more interesting. That’s where caller segments come in.

If you notice, some radio shows would open up lines for callers to make dedications, song requests and the like. Even if they do, sometimes, it’s just off-peak hours and not that many people actually tune in. That’s when they improvise. In the case of my old friend, he decided to call me up for his little gimmick.

“Okay, it works like this. Someone sent me an SMS telling me that he tak puas hati with you. It can be anything, you borrowed his shirt, or his book or money and he’s pissed that you haven’t returned it to him.”

Ah, okay. Then, what happens?

“So, he wants you to return his stuff la. Basically, I call you, read out his SMS and you explain your situation. After that, we just keep the ball rolling for a minute or so, then I settle it.”

Ok. I borrow something from guy. Guy gets pissed. Guy SMSes you saying he’s pissed at me.Then, you call me, ask what I think, then you take over. Right?

“Yeap. As usual, no profanities, nothing sexual, you know the drill. So what’s it gonna be?”

Right, the usual protocols. Okay. Let’s see, hmm. I borrowed his computer joystick.

“Computer joystick. Alright, give me a few secs while I type out the SMS. Okay, you borrowed his joystick for a year, you haven’t given it back, and he’s pissed. Ready?”

Go for it.

And so, my jock friend started up the short, and played out his gimmick, with me in the supporting cast.

“Okay, today on our ‘Tak Puas Hati‘ segment, I got an SMS from Azmi complaining to me about his friend Fazri. We have him on the line, hello?”

Hello, Brad! What’s up?

“Uh…shit, I forgot. Dude, you’re not supposed to know it’s me.”

Oh, right. Okay.

“From the top, yeah?”

Okay, shoot.

“Okay, today on our ‘Tak Puas Hati‘ segment, I got an SMS from Azmi complaining to me about his friend Fazri. Let’s see if we can figure this out, eh? We have him on the line now, hello?”

Hello, who’s there?

“Hi, *Brad from *Flash FM, I’m calling you for our ‘Tak Puas Hati‘ segment.”

Oh, what’s the matter?

“Your friend Azmi sent me an SMS here, let me read it you: ‘Brad, my friend Fazri borrowed my computer joystick and it’s been a year since. What’s up with that, huh?’ So, Fazri what’s this all about? You borrowed his stuff for a whole year?”

Ohh.. that guy. Well, yeah I sure did borrow that. But he seems to have forgotten something.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

The dude borrowed my football boots, and it’s been two years! I only got to wear for it a couple of months, man? Now what up with THAT?

“Oh man, sounds like a tough cookie. Tell you what, why don’t you give him back his controller, and you ask for your boots back, how about that?”

Well, if he wasn’t so hard to reach…

“You’re friends, right? You guys should make up and play nice already, alright?”

Yeah, sure.

“Thanks for joining us on air today, Fazri. Bye-bye.”

No probs, bye bye.

“And,… done. Hey, dude?”

Yo.

“When are we gonna meet up?”

I’m always free. You’re the one who goes on air and all, you bourgeois little French-annabe.

Doing radio shows is fun, except for spending hours freezing alone in a dark, sound-proofed studio. Having enjoyed the company of some rather well-known jocks, I’ve had the luxury of listening to many tales and misadventures around the studio. I really miss that particular company. Everyone felt like a family. Apparently there has been a few changes over the past couple of years, so I wouldn’t know if the environment was still the same.

In fact, I wouldn’t mind going on air. Some people have made casual remarks about my bassy voice and that it was good for radio. Having listened to my own voice during my voice-over days, I really don’t know if that was supposed to be a compliment.

It’s one of the many possible career options ahead of me. But then, that’s a long way to go. I appreciate the fact that the future can be unpredictable. It’s kind of like the hum of the cooling fans on my computer, and the shrill cries of cicadas on this warm, quiet night.

It gives my life that little bit of spice and charm.

*Names have obviously been changed, because I can.