The Silent Room

And so another year has come to an end.

Quite a number of things have happened over the past 12 months, and I must say, it was one hell of a ride. Early in 2007, I was taking the reins of a society that was very close to dying a quiet, unknown death. Around that time, I also took hold of another steering wheel.

During the last throes of 2006, I made one of the most important turning points in my life. I decided to quit studying Engineering, and applied for a change to a course in Creative Multimedia. Figuring that I needed some time to set my life straight, I took 6 months of academic leave, and began my journey on a new path.

I returned from my 11-day trip to Egypt just before the new year, I looked forward to a new beginning with gleaming hopes and ambition. During my long break, I took on a couple of freelance design jobs and discovered how sloppy various corporate companies can get when it comes to settling payments.

The long break was filled mostly with activities at home during the day, and various stuff during nights out in the town. I attended quite a number of gigs than I usually do. Even upgraded Luna. Not to mention the various new anime that sprung up with the seasons.

June came, and I began my new life as an Arts student. Suffice to say that I was completely blown away. Both from fascination and disbelief. I suffered a mild culture shock after attending classes conducted in the most unfamiliar fashion – to me, at least. Lecturers would sit cross-legged on a table while all of us sat on the floor. He would give a most casual lecture littered with middle-aged humor.

I was taught to draw, first without using a ruler, and later without using my brains. I was taught to appreciate media, to read between the lines, to look beyond the scenes, to see beneath what is seen. The whole experience of it all was, for lack of a better description, a breath of fresh air.

Studying in FCM completely changed my mindset about studying. In fact, I felt motivated, compelled to do well. I was finally being honest to my heart and I enjoyed every moment of it. Well, not exactly every single moment, if you count the sleepless nights and cans of Red Bull and long receipts from the art supply store.

Proof in the pudding, in this case, I did well for my grades. Not spectacularly awesome, but my results were good enough for me to be proud of. I was happy. Looking back in retrospect, I often wondered why I didn’t make this choice sooner. I wondered why I kept trying to convince myself that I was capable of doing well in Engineering. At least now, at the year’s end, I think I found the answer.

I wasn’t being honest enough. To myself.

I mean, not sound like an asshole but I know I’m smart. I know I’m quite capable of understanding physics and mechanics and various sciences. I was born with the genes of a mathematician and a biologist. I performed remarkably well in the field of sciences throughout my years in school. That is, I must say, something I’m quite proud of.

However, as I now realise, there’s a strange relationship between liking something, and being good at it.

A common perception is that, if you like something you’d be naturally good at it. Although sometimes, you might like it but you suck at it. Which isn’t much of a big deal because if you really do like it so much, you will eventually become better at it. What many people don’t realise is that just because you’re good at something, doesn’t necessarily mean you would like it. My drama with engineering should served as a good case study of this matter.

Armed with this newfound knowledge, I’ve been trying very hard to convince my younger cousins and brothers of friends who have just finished their SPM. In a weird way, I think I’ve grown older and a wee bit wiser. Being old is especially a bother with me, now that my classmates are all fresh SPM leavers – meaning young nubile girls are in the plentiful. And most [if not all] of them think of me like I’m some uncle, which is totally not cool.

Now that another year has come to an end, I have gotten myself through the door I just newly opened. The next journey begins here, and now. Looking back at 2007, I felt that it is definitely one of the more meaningful years of my youth.

Happy New Year, and here’s to a great turn of events for the future :)