The Silent Room

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Small Talk:
I was going to enter a lift in the FOE building one day, and I overheard two guys chatting inside as the doors opened. Suddenly, one of them said to the other, “Dude, why does your fart smell like roasted ginger?”

I decided to take the stairs.

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You see, I attended a training session for the MMU Voices debating team, because I got suckered by the club’s president, who happens to be a friend of mine. I just made some light talk about how I used to debate in secondary school and all that and he suddenly insisted that I come.

Of course, I could have said “No“, ignored the invitation and went back straight home, but that’d be plain rude wouldn’t it?

So I went, and before I knew it, my prehistoric blood began to boil. I could feel it surging behind my neck, flooding my brains and driving my heart crazy. After leaving the debating scene for well over half a decade, I felt… invigorated, rejuvenated, reanimated. I haven’t feel such feelings for long, LONG time.

I wanted to argue, to bicker, to brawl against another person in a battle of wits, humor and tactics. I hunger for the raw excitement of mental combat, and I felt a sudden bloodlust for some REAL competition. I was fully aware that I’m putting myself against extremely advanced and critical thinker who actually KNOW what they’re talking about, instead of jackasses who spurt out nonsense without even knowing what the hell they just said.

And then I spoke, for a very short mock debate. It was just a 5-minute speech per person, just for the committee to see what you’re like. At the end of the session, the trainer pointed at me.

“I want you in the Australs.”

Apparently, Voices will be taking part in the Australasian Intervarsity Debating Tournament, which will be held in UiTM in several weeks time. Universities from across Asia and Australia [hence the name] will be participating in the 7-day event, competing, learning as well as socializing. MMU already has four teams, and this particular session was meant to form another two.

I was to be drafted into Team Five.

I am honestly honored, and excited to be drafted *snap fingers* just like that. Unfortunately, I will have to skip seven days of classes to attend the tournament. Seven whole days. That would mean skipping my 2-hour lectures, and 3-hour tutorials, and I’ll be missing out on a lot of important fundamental knowledge on my courses.

It wouldn’t be such a big deal, actually, if I didn’t have such a terrible track record during my FOE days.

To make a long story short, I fucked up my engineering course. I decided to make things right by going back to square one, start anew and do things properly. FCM is going to cost me [read: my parents] a LOT of money, and I’m not quite prepared to take the risk of fucking up a second time.

As much as I would like to be part of a very awesome debating tournament and develop my mental capabilities further, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline the offer. Believe me, I’m more disappointed by this than you are, Coach.

I’m sorry. Words fail to describe how I’m feeling right now.