The Silent Room

Ice-cream, by itself, is just that – ice and cream. It only has a plain taste that can’t even induce the slightest form of arousal. It’s got no flavour. If people were to simply sell ice cream like that, I’m sure the number of diabetes patients wouldn’t be so high – since it’s sugar [and guilt] free.

Ice cream, much like mankind itself, is well over 4000 years old. Ice cream has been enjoyed since the times of the ancient Egyptians, Arabians and Chinese civilisations, just to name a few. However, understanding the erotically arousing potential of a cold dessert, they have innovated the joy ice cream into a more pleasant experience to suit their exotic tastes.

They added sugar, honey and fruits to give flavour and life to ice cream. The present day Italians are especially good at this since it’s become their traditional dessert and a lot of italian ice cream are actually handmade. In fact, various countries have their own way of flavouring ice cream. That’s why you get to label ice cream flavours to be Arabian-flavoured [with lots of nuts], or italian flavoured [with lots of berries] even Japanese-flavoured [choco-banana or melon].

Ice cream is a good thing to add flavour to. But that doesn’t mean you should manipulate the flavour of something with anything you like just to suit your exotic outright weird tastes. You don’t flavour ice-cream with chicken stock, ginger and mushrooms, do you? What you’d get is a cold sticky goo which might probably taste like expired chicken soup.

Culture is something you can put flavour into, as well. Clothes, for example. Oh wait, let me use a more, uh, relevant example. Clubbing. There’s a huge variety of clubbing cultures out there. Spanish, American, European, Japanese. But if you notice, despite their significant differences, they all hold down to the same basic essentials of club and dance culture. If you’re not nodding your head at this point in agreement, then you might wanna start clubbing just so you can get my drift.

I’m not a clubber – but I do have a deep love for club music [hint: I hate big crowds]. Techno and trance, especially. Yeah, you might wanna lend me that Tiesto CD you got back there, I’ll buy you lunch just for that. Anyway, back to the issue at hand.

You can give life to a lot of things by giving it a lot of different flavours, or styles. Just because you like chicken and ice cream at the same time doesn’t mean you have to combine them both, right? You give the right flavour to the right things to make it taste better – to make you feel better about it. I like club music, and I like anime but I hate crowds – I can’t possibly ask for a club that plays good music, shows anime screenings and not have a lot of people, that’s just ridiculous.

However, some people have the intelligence level of speedbump, and they just wanna put the weirdest flavour into a club just because it’s their stupid principle. Allow me to speak in more metaphors – I love doing this shit brouhahaha.

Modern ice cream comes with lots of sugar and fat and calories and all the things that will eventually inflate you before you die. Everyone dies, but nobody likes to be inflated, yes? But, despite knowing all that, ice cream has become a business that rolls in hundreds of millions dollars every year – people love ice cream. Today, you can also get fat-free, sugar-free and god knows what else is free in that ice cream, but they taste as good as real ice cream?

As a big [or wide, whichever pleases you] ice cream afficianado [my spelling sucks], I’d have to say no. In fact, rather than eat that kind of bland ice cream, I might as well drink milk! Rather than modifying something just to achieve half the effect [the pleasure, the fun], and sacrificing something else [the risk of diabetes] I might as well drop the whole thing and choose something else that fits my needs. Fruits or yogurt or something.

Some political parties, however, aren’t so quick to understand this simple fact. They want to flavour clubbing with their ideals – which I think is utterly ridiculous. Even my spring-headed pharaoh agrees with me – he nodded like crazy when I thought aloud about this while driving to lunch.

Instead of doing something that makes a llama look like a genius, they might as well drop the whole idea and offer something else that’s completely of a different nature to entertain their target group. Like what, you ask? There’s plenty! Sports, theatre, literature, culture. Dont’ forget that sports can also include extreme sports and cybersports and those two are extremely entertaining.

What happened to Dikir Barat? Gamelan? Kuda Kepang? It’s dying. You hear me, you old twats? IT’S FUCKING DYING! Along with Pak Pandir and Jentayu and Hang Tuah and Sang Kancil and the rest of gang. Instead of introducing a foreign culture and flavouring it with your stupid frozen chicken and ginger, you might wanna do something about your own fucking heritage. You screamed bloody murder when English in Science and Math was proposed and now you wanna bring in clubbing? Stuff a carrot up your sphincter you bloody hypocrite.

Ice cream definitely tastes better as it is with just vanilla and nothing else.

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Small Talk:
I lied. I don’t have a spring-headed pharaoh. But I sure love seeing spring-headed decorations bobbing their heads around in cars.

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