I was on my drive to lunch after Friday prayers when I passed by the local shophouses. As I waited for the crooked traffic light to turn green, I noticed Ravi, the local ‘orang gila‘ (malay for ‘madman’). He can usually be seen in a pair of faded jeans, cut and frayed at the knees and a white blotchy bedsheet worn like a cape. It doesn’t help that his long gray hair is unkept and he always wears a pair of twigs tied by an old belt to the sides of his head, probably paying his tribute to Rudolph the Reindeer.

Despite his image as an orang gila, Ravi is a very cheerful person. A lot of people would normally be scared shitless at the sight of his visage, but for us who know better, Ravi is just a poor guy who is a victim of poverty. I’ve heard rumours about how his family left him for being a drunkard and all, but only Ravi really knows for sure.

For the shopkeepers as well as us mamak regulars, we know all too well that Ravi always minds his own business, sometimes stopping by in front of the mamak stall asking for a glass of water. When Ravi gets his water, he’d drink it, and start yapping away in Tamil, arms flailing in the air, and head shaking like one of those spring-headed decorations you put in cars - all that while probably talking about how the stocks are going up or down in KLSE.

Sometimes you can see him pushing a rickety shopping cart filled with paper boxes - it would appear that he still has some sanity to actually gather those boxes and sell them to recyclers for some lunch and a smoke. Sometimes he’d sit at one end of the shoplot, usually somewhere near the motorbike workshop, puffing away, talking and laughing all by himself.

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Perhaps we really do need someone else to open our eyes for us. It’s what happens when you’re too sleepy thinking that you’re comfortable, unaware of that big pile of shit flying straight at your face.

“Malaysia boleh!” is Malaysia’s national catch cry. It translates to “Malaysia can!” and Malaysia certainly can. Few countries are as good at wasting money. It is richly endowed with natural resources and the national obsession seems to be to extract these, sell them off and then collectively spray the proceeds up against the wall.

This all happens in the context of Malaysia’s grossly inflated sense of its place in the world

- [source]

I’m not a business student and my knowledge of macroeconomics is close to zero. But I understand very well what the article was trying to say.

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Hello.

My name is Fazri, I am 21 years old.

I am an MMU student studying for a degree in Electronic Engi- no, wait. Let me rephrase that.

I am an MMU student who is no longer studying Engineering.

Very soon, I will be studying a foundation course in the Faculty of Creative Multimedia.

Yes, I quit Engineering.

Call me what you want, I don’t care. It’s the truth, anyway. But other than what derogatory remarks you might label me, there are also a whole bunch of other truths.

One truth, is that I never enjoyed Engineering. I hate it, in fact. Physical science is not my thing.

Another truth, is that I do enjoy Science, but the science I love is biological and chemical, which are not eligible for the scholarship which I applied for.

Also another truth, is that I have wanted to change faculties for a long time, but my scholarship contract forbade me from doing so.

The final truth, is that I have been constantly lying to myself all this while.

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I’ve been a bit late on the news, thanks to my busy, busy days lately. But hopping around the blogosphere today, I landed on Cik Amoi’s and read about a ridiculously brutal murder.

Altantuya, who goes by the name Anna and said to be a stunning beauty from Ulaanbaatar, arrived in Kuala Lumpur about a month ago.

[...]

On Monday, more than 40 police officers, including those from the Forensic Department, went to the crime scene at Subang Dam, Puncak Alam in Selangor, where they found bone fragments believed to be that of Altantuya in some bushes.

Police believe she was shot twice and her body blown to bits.

[...]

It is understood that C4 explosives were used to blow up her body in an effort to destroy evidence.

- [source]

C4? Fucking C4? That’s one heavy duty-type plastic explosive! One pack can take down a whole building! But that fact alone isn’t too scary. Police and CSI [not Grissom's team you stupid fanboy]have done their investigations and brought in some suspects.

Altantuya reportedly went missing about three weeks ago.

Sources said a report lodged by her sister and cousin led to the arrest of three police personnel – a chief inspector, a woman detective and a corporal with the Special Action Force or SAF, more commonly known as the Unit Tindakan Khas.

Yep. High ranking police officers. Charged with shooting a woman and blowing her up into dust. That’s really reassuring to have them protect us from criminals. My sentiments echo that of Cik Amoi’s - it’s getting more and more difficult to trust our own police force.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine left his Cyberjaya apartment empty during the holidays - everyone went home for raya. Just a few days after raya, it got broken into and over RM 5000 worth of stuff got stolen - several PCs, MP3 players, even the bloody router!

When police came to do their investigations, my friend related that they were being jovial and carefree about the whole thing - as if it was just another lousy job for them to take care of for the day. Wait, perhaps that really IS the case -.-”

But to tell you the truth, it felt like some metal dishes came falling onto my head…

I’ve been watching a lot of Black Lagoon, lately *thonk!*

I’ve been playing Counterstrike: Condition Zero a lot, lately *thonk!*

As terrorist [in multiplayer LAN with friends], I ALWAYS ask for teammates to drop the C4 so I can pick it up and I ALWAYS plant it. *thonk! thonk!*

I’ve been reading up on various information about weapons, yes, including grenades and plastic explosives *thonk!*

Uhm… I think I’ll do something else. Dota Allstars 6.38b AI is out. Yes, I think I’ll play that for while. Hm.

I was deeply engrossed in thoughts about pride, today.

Pride is like a sharp, shiny sword that you carry around to brandish to the people you meet. You don’t brandish it all the time - someone might get hurt - so you usually keep it in its sheath.

Pride is different than ego. Ego feeds on pride, but not the other way around. The problem a lot of people, especially men, face is that they can’t distinguish between ego and pride. If pride is like the sword, ego is like the hand that swings it around. Swing it right, and you make a clean cut. Swing it wrong, you might get a chip - or worse, you risk breaking the blade.

I have to admit, that I have been a victim to my own ego quite a number of times. What usually happens is when I underestimate the circumstances, and overestimate my own abilities. A classic case of over-promise and under-deliver.

This time, however, I’ll kick ego out the door, and swallow my own pride. I’ve been constantly lying to myself, and to others, and all this while, I’ve never been able to stay true to what I say about myself. If such a thing makes people feel dissapointed in me, trust me, I myself feel more dissapointed about it than anyone else.

I brandished my sword, only to see that it’s become rusty and chipped. Not nice at all.

Why am I suddenly talking about swallowing my pride? Well, to tell the truth, swallowing one’s pride is like swallowing a durian whole - not fun. But I did that for my own sake, and for the sake of doing the things I truly love. Sorry I have to be vague about the whole issue at the moment, but I promise I’ll continue to story soon :)