The Silent Room

If you don’t know Azrael, you’re missing out on one of the most entertaining writers on the Internets.

I, for one, have been an avid follower of his editorials as an English teacher at a school in Japan. His life-stories tell so much about Japanese culture than other materials. Today I decided to go through some of his other editorials and stories. And by the heavens he’s DAMN good.

Breasts are like God’s gift to the world. Art, if you will. Which is why one of the most tragic things on this Earth are breast implants. Why? Why why why? Why must you defile nature like that? It’s like painting a handlebar moustache on the Mona Lisa. Defilement, at its worst. First of all, they’re so fucking obvious. Its like someone cut a coconut in half and just stuck them on your chest. That’s horrible. And some of them, they’ll be big sure, but then they’ll be so far apart, I swear, you could drive a fucking golf cart up straight up her chest and still clear either boob by a couple of feet. And that’s not even mentioning the scars.

- Azrael, An Ode, to Natural Beauty

If that doesn’t convince you enough to go read more of his writings, well, I suppose you lack the appreciation for good writing.