Melayu

25Nov2005
04:14


Did the image above mean anything to you? Did it stir any emotion? Did it raise questions? Or do you think it’s just neat?

Before you start groaning “Ohh, there he goes again on his ‘artistic’ bullshit”, I’m not here to discuss art. I’d like bring a more important issue. That image above was composed by a personal friend of mine. He’s not an art student, nor did he have a tormented childhood. He’s just an over-imaginative fellow who is currently under abuse of his engineering subjects. And yes, he’s a Malay.

While I have been advocating cross-cultural relationships [not just romantic ones], it’s sometimes interesting to observe what’s going on in your own field. If you think Malaysia is a colourful blend of a multiracial society, it’s even more interesting to note that each race has its own spectrum of people.

As a Malay myself, I have faced several personal dilemmas dealing with my own kin. Five years ago I would think, hey, they’re Malays like me, we should be able to get along just fine cause our mentality would be the same. Today, that idea is worth less than candy.

Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I’m not one single bit ashamed of my race. I’m not about to tarnish its identity, either. I’m just speaking out how I feel on certain things. Are we clear? Good.

Now.

I’m still only 20 years young, but I would like to think I have met every kind of Malay [local ones, that is] there is to be met. And boy, am I amazed. I have come across people who think Malays are so high and mighty and deserve every damn right to privileges. I have spoken to Malays to are so ashamed of being a Malay they decided to denounce themselves as Malays, even to the extent of resisting to speak in Malay. I have befriended plenty of Malays who just don’t give a fuck.

And that’s just some of them.

There have been times when I shake my head at how gullible and cheap some Malays are. I saw this bunch of Malays who look at a chick who dresses rather suggestively. Make that, staring at her with unblinking eyes. And after she’s passed along, they shake their head in disgust.

“Oh dosa,…dosa…”

Those poor hypocritic motherfuckers. I have also come across some who can’t speak proper English, but instead of embracing the ones that can, they shun the latter. Back in school, the Malays who did well for their exams were left alone, while the bunch of mediocres proudly parade their D’s and C’s, and each trying to make it sound like they got the worst results.

“Ko kan bijak, takyah campur ngan kitorang yang bodoh bangang nhi. Buat rugi kau je.”

Yeah, you just proved your own point there, Einstein. This is something I just can’t accept. But there’s more. A huge lot of these bunch condemn their kin that date non-malays, thoughtlessly accusing the said person is just ‘too good for someone of their own race’. They fear all types of Chinese food, even if the perfectly halal ones. They forward hoax and chain emails without a second thought, and freely spam YM lists with pointless messages.

The ones who don’t share this mentality with them are immediately fired upon.

“Tak sedar diri.”
“Melayu lupa daratan”
“Mat Saleh celup”

These bunch listen only to Malay songs [because they can't understand songs in other languages], and the ones that don’t [like myself] are immediately labelled “tak sokong orang Melayu”. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!? I bet a bulk of them can’t appreciate the artwork up there either. Some that go into business attempts with other non-malays. But when things fuck up they’re so quick so say “Cina dengki,” or “Mamak celaka,” under their breaths. Don’t believe me? Yes, that’s the reality. I don’t sugarcoat my shits, I leave it to you how you want to digest it.

To hear and witness such things hurt me. Deeply, if I may add.

Honestly, I don’t think it’s us who are the ones that “lupa daratan”. It’s they who forget who they are. No, they don’t forget the fact that they’re malays. But they forget they’re ultimately humans. They forget their own flaws. They soak in their own vanity and self-righteousness that they forget to look outside. And there’s just SO many of them. After saying all that, I feel like I’ve become one of them already. See?

I am saddened because I don’t know what I can do to change it.

While you may think I’m a ‘liberal’ Malay, speaking freely like this, I still try remain true to my roots. I was brought up in a very traditional and religious household. I was taught Malay manners, which are heavily dictated by Islamic doctrines. But my parents knew better. They didn’t want me to turn out as a person who doesn’t have a sense of respect for women, one who doesn’t understand social manners, and one who prefers mediocrity over excellence.

While being brought up with strong Malay values, they also made sure I was able to converse in English before I set foot in primary school. I was taught to bow and extend my right hand forward when walking in front of elders. Plenty of my typical Malay habits are hardwired, not into my brain, but into my body. There’s quite a few things that I do yet not even realise I do them.

I look into the eyes of the person whose hand I’m shaking.
I put my hand to my heart after the handshake.
I blabber out ‘Ya Allah!’ when I accidentally step into a drain.
I prefer eating with my hands.
I laugh with a horribly loud voice.
I make plenty of small talks.
I don’t speak when elders are speaking.
I prefer sarungs over anything else.
I hate vegetables. [uh,.. okay. Most malays can't live without greens. heheh, sorry]

But there’s also a lot of Malay-ness factors that are absent from me. I think in English, not in Malay [hence my poor ability of conversing and writing in formal Malay]. I don’t play football, nor do I care about it. I don’t smoke just because a lot of my friends do. I don’t look at a pair of tits and die of excitement [I've watched enough pr0n to already]. I don’t listen to mainstream Malay music, nor bother about the Malay celebrities. And I hate AF.

“Ha, kau tak kenal Nur Fazura? Kau ni Melayu ke?”
“Kau tak minat AF? Kau ni Melayu ke?”

Pukimak kau.

I know what I have been raving here isn’t limited only to Malays and that each race has their own share of dilemmas. I also know that I’m not the only Malay shackled to this torment. There’s quite a unmber of us out there. I know, I’ve met plenty of them.

But as I said, I’m just voicing out the cries of my heart. Some time ago, I had this talk with a friend, who was of mixed Chinese-Malay parentage. At one point she asked me “What kind of Malay do you think I am, then?”. I didn’t know what to say. So I gave as honest an answer as I could;

“You’re just like me, I guess. Just a Malay trying to find out what being Malay truly means.”

Grey Matter, Personal