Let me tell you something. I have another person living inside me. He’s naturally a good guy, really, but he’s kind of brash when it comes to actions and words. He comes out once in a while, you can read some the thoughts that he voiced out here in the Room. Can’t tell which are his? His are the ones filled with anger, pain, and cynicism.

By nature I’m very soft, and extremely emotional. When it comes to making big decisions, I usually call him out for some ideas. He’s very rational, very logical and extremely critical. Often times he would make me take a step back and think several times before deciding anything. I love him very much. He has kept me sane, and has kept me safe whenever times got rough.

He’s a total opposite of the one you would usually see me as. He’s very crude, extremely harsh and has the shortest temper. Which makes him an especially dangerous person to be around with. Fortunately he knows that being so gets me in trouble, so he usually stays inside and enjoys whatever simple joys and peace I can provide him. One thing notable about him, is that he’s very protective of me.

Whenever I’m angry, he would whisper into my soul. Words of anger and hatred, that is. They seep in so so deep into my head that I could just immediately lash out at the nearest person. Yet, at the same time, he would tell me to know what’s the better thing to do. I’m sure if you have been with me long enough, you would notice that I would usually talk very slowly when I’m angry.

I’m trying to keep him in.

He doesn’t like to see me hurt. He hates to see me cry. He is especially disgusted whenever I thought of giving up. He would mentally whip me back up to my feet, convincing me that I deserve the better things life has to offer. On many occasions he has been correct. But whenever I’m really hurt, and extremely pissed off at something, he would rise to the occasion.

I know that letting him out would spell trouble. He broke someone’s nose the first time he came out. It gave me a certain sense of satisfaction and power back then, but I knew better that hurting people is never the right thing to do. I swore never to let him surface again. Unfortunately, he’s just me, as I am just him. I don’t have the strength to hold him back forever. If I’m down and broken, I might not even have a grip on him at all. I would be so weak, so vulnerable and he would never waste another second to show himself.

I try my best to keep under control. But if you weaken me enough, I cannot guarantee your physical safety. If he surfaces, he WILL harm you. And when that happens it would be too late, for both of us. I can never forgive myself for hurting people, and perhaps you would never be able to forgive me for hurting you. He is THAT dangerous.

Please help me keep him sealed.
::::::::
“You know,” said God, catching Brian up, “it’s been a while since I’ve done that!”
“What?” asked Brian wearily.
“Done a miracle like that. Back in the old days, I used to do it all the time, fix hairline fractures in pottery, gently repair wheels, that kind of thing. Miracles nobody sees, I used to love them.”
Brian paused on the top of the stairs. “Why did you stop?”
God thought about this. “Nobody sees them.”

- deviantkupo, A Spot of Bother