If you came upon a chance when you definitely feel that someone is coming on to you, and willing to let go of any ties that bind them, what do you tell them? You know for a fact that they are in a relationship of mutual love, and the issues they face are simply avoidable ones, if they made the effort.

Deep inside, you know that if you ask thme to break the ties off, they might not give it a second thought and do it right away, and free themselves. Free for the taking. Specifically, for yours.

Somehow, I’m going through some pretty mixed up emotions, myself. It’d be nice if we hooked up. But it’s also nice if they rekindled their love and see the sincere smile that I always like to see. Both outcomes are good, really. I then gave my few cents’ worth, in an attempt to keep them from breaking apart.

I wonder if it was really what I wanted to do. Do I really care for the affairs of others? I’m sure I’m a lot more self-centered than I thought. And to act in ways that leaves me out of the gain, is not usually me. I like to see things work. I like to see them perform. I don’t like helplesness. I hate inefficiency.

And when viewed from a different angle, I realised that I am no different than anyone else. I hate negative things. The more I think about the things I hate, the more of it I see in myself. I regularly find myself going that extra mile to make the other person satisfied. As much I want to feel accomplished and proud of myself, I can never find the drive. I read somewhere;

“Think of others ahead of yourself, boy.”

But there is also;

“YOU must be the focus of your goal. Your efforts must always see yourself as its first priority.”

I reflected upon these two contradictary points of wisdom a few times, but I never came to a steady conclusion. Sure, I set my goals. I aim high. But do I do enough to hit the mark? It doesn’t seem so. I always wonder why I was always unable to drive myself to go further, for my own sake. Yet, if it’s about satisfying another person, I always do a little extra to make them feel better.

Is it simply because I like to see my friends happy? Or rather, the self-gratification when people speak of me to others, saying what a wonderful person I am, going as far as doing a little research to help them out?

I must remind you that I am a HUGE attention whore. Though I don’t exactly demand much, I DO expect to receive LOTS of it. It’s not that I like being the guy everyone knows, but rather, the guy everyone is fond of.

Which brings me back to the original point. Do I really help people out of selflessness, or I am being selfish for wanting be loved? Why help those in need? What is the ultimate reason? I don’t know if your answer is the same as mine, but at least I have one, tough it might be a bit unpleasant.

I want to be liked.

You’ve helped people out in the past too, right? Have you ever sat down asked yourself, why, until you get yourself a final definite answer?