Why do my parents always get angry at me? There’s always something wrong about what I do. An negative outcome is sure to follow whatever path it is that I take.

They don’t understand you.

Bah. Nobody understands anybody else in the first place. It’s hard enough for a person to understand himself, let alone trying to figure out another person. The issue of understanding is out of the question.

They just can’t tolerate you being a little different

Really? I never thought of it that way. They tolerated the fact that I fucked up countless times. Not that they were too happy about it. Well, to put it bluntly, they tolerated me fucking up by making feel even more fucked up by fucking me up more about the fact that I fucked up in the first place. So yeah, I have to say they have a pretty high tolerance level.

They don’t respect you enough.

Oh sure they do. They come into my room without knocking, yelling for me when I’m on the phone or wearig headphones [I wish they could just tap me on the shoulder or something] and blaming whatever it is that went wrong in the house on me. Not to mention the fact that some even invaded my original closet, and hijacked it, and threw my stuff out the whole room, and then give me a new cupboard, and to go ahead by filling it up with thier clothes and undies. Did I mention my shelves? I’ve got about 65% of them selves fill with stuff that aren’t mine. Yeah, they respect me, a lot, if I may say so myself.

Well, they’re not to used to you

Is anyone? If anybody is used to me, it’s only ME. You’re playing a bit too dumb for someone as smart-ass as you.

They like to yell at you and make you feel like shit.

No, they don’t explicitly LIKE to yell at me. It’s their ‘obligation’. They feel responsible for telling me the things I already know. They have a strong urge to say ‘I thought so’, ‘I told you so’, or ‘You have to blabla to blabla because blabla’. It gives them not only a sense of power for being in the right, but it helps them to release whatever it is that’s cooped up in their heads and receive a great amount of satisfaction.

Then, you’re the only one left to blame. Geez, you suck.

Shut up, self.

I’ve went over this internal argument over and over and over again with myself on many sleepless nights. And it ends almost always the same way. Me.

Am I rebellious? I don’t know the answer to that question. I think I am. But not verbally rebellious. I just like to go against people’s expectations. I’m not too fond being in the norm. It feels really satisfying to make people go wow when they talk about me.

It’s just that all this while, I’ve always wanted to go against the ordinary.

You DO know you’re a sanguine, right?

Didn’t I just tell you to STFU?

Oh, and who are you telling that to again?

As you can see, I’m having my hands full just dealing with myself at times. Back to the story.

Beng out the norm. I just can’t resist the urge to do so. It’s just, too…glorifying. The expression on people’s faces whenever I talk about the weird shit that I do, and still achieve this much and got myself this far, is just priceless. I mean, come on, who would’ve been insane enough to climb onto the roof only to get into your neighbour’s house!? Who would’ve flew on a bike while carrying a fat passenger?

I just love making people go speechless.

My parents, however, are never speechless. They always have something to say, even if its’ already the obvious. They might say ‘I don’t know what to say anymore’ but do they stop talking? No. The more they think they’ve had enough to say, the more ideas come pouring and the more things they tend talk about. Sometimes it reaches a point where it hurts real deep.

I’m just too good at making them mad. I’ve never been able to put a finger on it. I just love going against their expectations. Sure, I liek to show off and be proud of my achievements, but I’m just not the type who would go around telling people ‘Hey, look, I’m studying. I’m a good and studious boy’ or ‘Hey, look at me, I’m praying at the mosque, I’m a good pious person’. I just don’t do that sort of shit. I don’t intend to remain a mystery either.

‘I’ve never seen you open up your books whenever you’re home. Whenever I look into your room, I see you playing games, surfing and chatting’

Oh isn’t that nice? Am I supposed to call you to look into my room when I’m studying? Whenever I do study I can’t sense you near my doorstep. If I may steal your words, it’s very ‘mind-boggling’ as well.

‘I don’t know lah Fazri. I just want to see your results’

One minute you’ve given up on me. The next you’re yelling at me like there’s no tommorrow? If you’re saying I can’t understand the desire you have for your children, hey, don’t blame me for receiving confused signals all over the place.

I’m not asking for anything. I know you can’t trust me with my current track record [believe me, it's a very bad one], but if it’s about me showing you that I DO study, then that’s quite impossible. I exhibit results, not effort. You’re right about me not putting in 100% of my effort, because I really don’t. I understand why you’re worried, why you cried, and why you blew up on me. I understand that it really is my fault. But you must also understand that no matter what you do, you can’t change me. If I am ever to change, I will make it. You can try as much as you want to influence and convince me, but with my stubbornness that puts donkeys to shame, I doubt you will go far.

I’m just not driven. I haven’t found the key to revv up the engines. I don’t know when I’ll find it. Right now, I don’t know if I’m even looking for that key. I don’t know if I even WANT to find that key. Heh.

I know reading that one will scare the shit out of you, but well, things aren’t gonna change anytime soon. At least until I knock my head into someting solid, then I might wake up from this blissful dream.

I know you people tried your very best.

Yep.

..that I proved to myself once again that I do NOT like striking colours. It seems that green is not an exception at all. I think I can live only with black, silver, or dark blue.

Now, if I only I can motivate myself to repaint my room here…oh on a quick note:

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

This is just too funny for me to leave out.

Click here for the full story. Courtesy of 27th. Thanks for brightening up my day.

Charity, charity, charity. So many campaigns, so many events, all done in the name of charity. I’ve seen concerts, festivals, and donation drives, all done to raise money for charity. The basic ideas?

Have fun while doing charity

Sure, charity is about sharing, but being humans, it’s hard for people to continue ‘having fun for charity’ when they realize there’s nothing solid to be gained when they give something out. I’ve also noticed that these events raise a huge amount cash in one shot, but I seldom see the same body conduct such events on a steady and frequent basis.

What happens when that big bulk of cash is spent? Run another event? And expect to collect the same amount of money? I highly doubt this. Running an event to raise money aloone already costs a huge amount of cash, even a company as big as McDonalds don’t run charity events that often. The final scene? The big amount of money will soon be spent, and they will have a hard time trying to raise funds without the platform of a charity event.

So, how do we solve this problem? A favourable condition these charity bodies would want to be in, is to be constantly supplied with a steady flow of cash. Though not necessarily as big as ones you collect in a big event, big sufficient to handle monthly needs and still keep some for savings.

This is where the story begins.

The Xim Phou Moon Society Malaysia has devised a clever strategy that allows them to bring in steady amounts of cash every month. Perhaps you’ve never heard of this society because it doesn’t really run big charity events, and in fact, it stays low profile.

“The where the hell does it get this steady flow of cash you speak of?”

Well, they may be a charity body, but they’re are also business-minded. Instead of simply offering entertainment or a warm feeling in your heart, they offer you a solid gain, and for a good price, too.

They sell second-hand reading materials. Books, novels, magazines and comics ranging from Charles Dickens and Enid Blyton to Readers’ Digest and Marvel. All the books sold are second hand, but the knowledge and literature and entertainment alue remains timeless. And since they’re second-hand, they sell at prices about 30-50% than what you would pay for a new copy.

They run business by setting up booths and stalls at medium-class shopping complexes nationwide.

The best part? Once you’re done with a particular copy, you are welcomed to re-donate the books back to the society for them to re-sell it. You know what, last time I went to their booths, I saw their donation bin, and I saw tens of bags of books returned by satisfied readers.

People are glad to donate knowledge.

So, they get donated books, sell them, receive them back and sell them to someone else. It has been their business strategy for over 5 years, and they’re doing very well, I must say. I myself have been buying from them, and returning as well [save for my precious collection of Readers' Digest]. My mother is especially fond of buying women’s magazines and National Geographic and she regularly buys new ones to replace the ones she returned.

Charity gains money, you gain knowledge. Now THAT is a win-win charity endeavour.